On Envy

Envy!! It is terrifying what it does to a human being. Let’s begin...

In early childhood, every child felt that it was some kind of special being. It dreamt of becoming so great that the whole world appreciates him/her one day, and everyone is charmed by him. Haven’t we all done this? Some might have imagined situations where they solved all the problems of the world and whatnot. Just a normal thing being a beginner in life.

Slowly growing up, the person realizes that he is no special being, there is no magical thing with him to solve the problems of his own let alone solving the problems of the world. Haha, he laughs at his imagination. The reality strikes but he is okay with the mediocre world. He still dreams of random pieces of stuff at night. He knows it is fake and he still wants to enjoy it because it’s way better than reality. 

One fine day, his classmate whom he used to play with becomes a good athlete at the local level club, or say, his college friend gets good grades in his exams, or his colleague achieves a great feat at his office or something like this happens. Now this man becomes restless, he congratulates the achiever for the victory but his mind constantly triggers him to think that everyone around is moving onto new heights and you are at the same place. “Look at your surroundings, he is winning it and you are lagging yourself behind (voice in the mind says).” A new rush of motivations pushes him to do something. He copies the successful one, he tries to inculcate his habits. He feels more restless, more struggling. His mind couldn’t hold this state for longer.

A stranger achieving something doesn’t make any impact on this man, but someone close to him achieves even the tiniest success and this man gets rattled. But let me tell you, these impacts are what's happening from the outside world. It makes an impact on him temporarily. Because the event is closer to him. Somewhere around him. Everyone around him congratulates the achiever. This makes him think that “I should also achieve something similar.” But the real motivation should come from inside the mind and heart to do something. If the motivation comes from within, it will last longer.

It is true that when you try to channel your energy based on outer pressure, you lose. This day or any day. You cannot force yourself what you don’t feel from inside to do so. Coming back to the story, this man gives up trying to achieve what his classmate, or his college friend, or colleague achieved. He now wants to satisfy his mind before giving up. Because his mind needs a practical answer to it. He has to make sense of his “Give up” decision. What did he choose to do? This is the blunder most people blindly follow through and I wanted to write about this. Do read below…

He envies the success of other people. The terrifying thing that I told in the beginning. This man demeans his classmate’s or friend’s or colleague’s success. He says what that man achieved is nothing, or he just got lucky, or what he achieved is nothing when compared to someone whom I know, or If I was in his place I would have done more and whatnot. Worst case scenario, he may even try to harm the growth of the achiever. Are you able to see the seed of poison that’s growing in his mind? Whatever someone achieved he is refusing to acknowledge that. It doesn’t stop right there. He wishes to see that other person face failure. Whenever his classmate, or his friend, or colleague encounters a tiny obstacle on his way, this man cheers up with joy. Whether he enjoys his victory or not, he enjoys another person’s defeat. Perhaps, not even a defeat but a tiny obstacle. He doesn’t understand or try to acknowledge what that achiever might have gone through to reach that state of achievement. This person is like, “I couldn’t achieve something, but someone else is going to achieve it. Well, it is not that I couldn’t achieve that’s troubling me. What's troubling me is he is achieving it. And I want him to fail.” Imagine the hatred growing up. How sad a state of mind it would be. Can we call him a sadist? Why not? Let me share a German Proverb with you about this state of mind. It goes “The purest joy is the malicious joy we take on the misfortunes of those we have envied.”

It would seem like a joy to see the misfortunes of those whom we envied but that also means, that whoever feels joy at the misfortunes of others whether we envy them or not shows that he/she is not raised right.

My argument is straight, if you feel someone around you is jealous of you, try to make things clear to him. But I know this doesn’t work. Another option would be to share this article of mine to show him what he is doing and where he stands (Haha, marketing my write-ups). There is one more option for you, whatever he calls for your success, he may call it luck, he may call it temporary, and a lot more. At your inner self, you know whether you are worth it or not. If confronted by them, don’t fall for their plot in mindless arguments. Prove your worth by making clear about your abilities and show him his place. If they don’t confront you and just badmouth you all around then just ignore them. Lord Krishna said, “Even a stick wouldn’t move without my permission.” God knows the good and bad, let him be at the mercy of God.

On the other hand, if at any point in your life, you caught yourself demeaning someone else’s success around you, please stop. If that person isn’t worth that success eventually, he will fall. If he is worth it, then it is just and right for his success. God knows all of it. God knows who deserves and who doesn’t. Again, remember what Lord Krishna said: “Even a stick wouldn’t move without his permission.” Others envy you cannot control, leave it to God. If envy is entering into you, throw it right away because you should have control over yourself. Avoid envy as you would avoid any poisonous food being served to you. Don’t let it enter your mind and spoil your sensibility and peace.

Hare Krishna.